For the sake of honesty and transparency, I want to share something with you. Before I ever experienced deep meditation—before I learned to expand my awareness naturally—I explored altered states through substances. Mushrooms, psychedelics, alcohol, cannabis, and THC gummies.
At the time, I wasn’t just experimenting for fun. I was searching for something. Maybe an escape, maybe a glimpse beyond the veil of reality—perhaps both. These experiences weren’t just about getting high or having a wild trip; they were my way of trying to understand consciousness in ways I couldn’t access in my normal waking state.
What I Learned (And What I Didn’t)
Each substance had its own effect—or, in my case, lack of effect.
- Psychedelics (Mushrooms, LSD, etc.) – Opened doors to strange, mind-bending perceptions, but the experience was fleeting. It showed me there was something beyond, but it didn’t help me integrate or truly understand it.
- Cannabis & THC Gummies – This was where things got interesting. My partner took one THC gummy, and within an hour, he was outside in the backyard, dancing and laughing uncontrollably. Meanwhile, I had taken five—and I sat there, arms crossed, frowning, watching him enjoy his high while feeling absolutely nothing.
- Alcohol – I once drank an entire bottle of vodka in one night, expecting at least some kind of effect. Nothing. No drunkenness, no hangover, no lingering scent of alcohol. The next morning, I went to work as usual and even asked a coworker if he could smell anything on me—he was shocked, not just because there was no trace of alcohol, but because I had apparently consumed an amount that should have left me completely incapacitated.
Why Didn’t It Work on Me?
This was the real question. Why did none of these substances affect me the way they affected others? Was it just my body chemistry? Or was there something deeper going on?
The more I thought about it, the more I began to wonder: Was I simply not meant to take shortcuts?
Maybe I was supposed to experience altered states in a natural way—through meditation, stillness, and awareness—rather than through external substances. Maybe these tools weren’t part of my path, and my body instinctively rejected them.
Looking back, I now understand that real transformation doesn’t come in a pill, a bottle, or a gummy. It comes through direct experience, patience, and the slow unfolding of awareness over time.
A Word of Caution
I want to be clear: I am not encouraging anyone to experiment with these substances. My experience is unique to me, and just because these things didn’t work for me doesn’t mean they won’t have serious effects on others. Some people have life-changing experiences with psychedelics—good or bad. Others struggle with addiction or unpredictable consequences.
If you’re searching for something deeper, there are safer, more sustainable ways to explore consciousness. Meditation, self-inquiry, and inner exploration require no external substances—and the results last far longer.
Would I have discovered meditation and altered states on my own if these substances had worked on me? Maybe not. And for that, I’m grateful.
That was my path.
What’s yours?
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